Cancer and Fertility
– My Experience
I had my date for my surgery but there were still some big decisions to make. I knew that a few weeks after my surgery I would need to have Chemotherapy, to be followed by Radiotherapy. This was going to affect my fertility. If we wanted to have more children in the future now was the time to do something about it. I didn’t even know how to begin processing this. It felt so overwhelming, my baby was only 3 months old and I had just been given a cancer diagnosis.
When I was pregnant with Tom, we had decided that he was going to be the grand finale and the final piece to the jigsaw that was our family. When I was in labour with him, I had definitely decided no more babies! But this felt so final. Were we definitely sure that this was it?
We decided to look at all our options and arm ourselves with all the knowledge we could and make an informed decision then. We both had to be 100% sure that this was the right decision for us and our family. My husband was amazing and took the lead on this. He could see how overwhelmed I was and made all the phone calls needed and researched all we needed to know. We spoke to my Obstetrician who looked after me during my four pregnancies several times over the next few days and she couldn’t have been more caring and helpful.
After all the research, if we wanted to have more children in the future we had one option*. After my surgery but before Chemotherapy I would have to undergo egg retrieval, these would be fertilised and frozen as embryos. I think they had said that they could store ten embryos but my memory is a little hazy on the figure. They would be kept in storage and we would have the option to use or not to use them in the future. (This would all be funded by the HSE because of my cancer diagnosis) If we chose not to use them we could take them home and bury them.
Our minds had been already 99% made up but when we both heard that we might be taking home the embryos to bury them in the garden that finalised our decision. It wasn’t something we could or wanted to do. It brought us both to tears. We love being parents and each one of our boys with all our hearts, we had wondered was there going to be one more despite our minds being 99% made up!
There have been many hard bits since my initial diagnosis. This remains one of the biggest. There are still times where my husband and I wonder, and occasionally we shed a tear. What is there to say? We hold each other and our lovely loving family and we are complete.
* This has been my experience and the advice given to me at the time. If anyone is going through something like this or seeking further information I would advise them to speak to their oncologist and an obstetrician so as they would get the most up to date and appropriate advice for themselves.